Derapan Langkah

Yesterday, was tiring I would say. Weird that people actually rest on weekend, but I would feel tired as I reach Sunday. Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah. As this is really such a wonderful life experience that I am learning to appreciate and love then to mould it to be my principle of life. Which is to serve and rest just enough to keep on moving and fulfilling my purpose of life. I went for a walk my little sisters yesterday at a castle in Harrogate. A month before, I promised these little sisters that I would bring them for a wonderful weekend getaway after they finished exam. I planned to bring them to Belfast but after I made the offer, I needed to change the plan to actually fit in our monthly sisters qiyam and my own face to face sisters circle ie usrah (Most of my halaqat were done online cause my usrahmates are everywhere so it is quite hard to actually fix a time where everyone can actually attend in person for face to face halaqah.) We have no other weekend, so yeah......

Over the course of the past six years, I have lost some people who are dear to me, be it physically or emotionally. Some became far (physically), some became far and distant emotionally (although they are just around physically), some became far both physically and emotionally. Hihihi. What a complicated world it is. ^_^ But to be honest, as I look back over the moments that had passed by, I can't deny that I miss those time when I felt safe and loved by those people who I learnt to love. I miss those time when I felt safe to actually express my thoughts, feelings and actions. I miss those moments when I felt respected to express my views yet honoured to be criticised.  Being me, unfortunately, I'm too selective in choosing close friends hence I feel sad when I lose them. Cause for me, close friends are like treasure that can never be replaced. Those who are physically far, I still love you and each of you have own space in my heart and memory. Even though, I do not text or con...

Alhamdulillah one more thing for fifth year ticked today. ESREP Presentation   ESREP Manuscript ESREP Reflection  SJT PSA Finals  Placement 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Now left with PSA, placements and finals.  Can't wait to finish the year ^_^ After finished with that 2 hours and 20 minutes test today, we had a meeting with the medical school. They are proposing for us final years to get into the ward and become volunteers to help out with the increasing workloads at hospitals currently. I've signed up to it. Worried but excited too! Need to polish my knowledge and skills.  Hey self! It's 117 days to your finals ! Do it properly.. With ihsan, patience and solat. Remember He will be there. Is always there. He is watching! He loves you of course, so do your best!  Khayr insha Allah. Even when the whole world leave you, He will never do!

Terasa mcm kena banned je dgn doktor2 kat tempat elektif ni. Hurmmm.. Dah offended sesape ke? Padahal pasal lab coat je pon. Sedey sy mcm ni~~ -.-" 

three days ago, i needed to start another countdown. 10 more days to another exam. i was scared because it is going to be osce that i have to re-sit. another osce for fourth year exam. one more osce. one more round. 10 stations. please oh Lord make it easy. i know nobody that can calm my worries down. i know no beings that can promise me sunshine. it is only You that will never turn me down. i know there will be hikmah behind everything that is happening now. please make me strong in my iman and my amal. please make me truthful in my words and my tawakkal. smile for the best future is always for the believers. whatever it is, alhamdulillah, thummalhamdulillah i passed my written exam. :') a news i am glad to hear. please help me to face this ya Rabb. two countdown at a time. seven days to exam, seven days to resit. ramadhan is tomorrow, i shall smile. exam in the blessed month of Quran. me, hamba.

Its ten days to first paper of fourth year final exam with remaining three days of final placement. Please pray for me my lovely friends. Please pray that I will do it right. I am sometimes, a careless person. Please pray that I'll do things right. #rumahsakit #examiscoming

It is coming in less than three weeks. I am worried to be honest. It is the so-called 'last chance' for me. Whether or not it's gonna be medical school again next year. Oh Lord, please guide me and bring me through this. I am of no power, will and capability without your mercy.

Bismillah I just attended a charity dinner with my housemates. We had performances from Kareem Salama, Saif Adam and Native Deen; and great food as well.  Subhanallah the event was great. Alhamdulillah I enjoyed it and pleased ti attended it. But whenever I attended such event, I really hope that the journey and time I have made for it bring values to my afterlife. Was is just mere entertainment? Oh Allah, I hope not. *please* Subhanallah, one of the songs reminded me of the Haramain. The umrah and Hajj. I saw the performers were really into their songs and musics. I was pleased to see them so happy. I was glad to see such a joy they have for their selves and how wonderful they have tried to make others happy as well.  Anyway the purpose of the dinner was to raise funds to build a school for girls in Pakistan. Do I want to be part of it? Do you want to be part of it? It's just £25 per month to sponsor a girl for an education a year. :))) 

From my experiences, spring will be one of the great times for people to reflect upon our heart and our journey to meet death..  The effect will be more humangous to most heart because this is the one of the times for us to decide by OURSELF how do we want to fill OUR SPARE TIMES;  Yeah..  The time that we think is ours; The time that we think is given for us to relax and enjoy and chill out; are we going to opt for a humble yet great journey to know our Lord and ourself ? (note the word humble please because we will not be strong enough to face the journey if the heart is filled with the feeling of 'i'm good enough')  Going back to the journey of reflecting upon our heart and meeting death; It is a journey that I believe will only be appreciated by the traveller. Those who just watch, wait and see will not understand. Because to start the journey, you have to ambrace the feeling of wanting to return to Allah in the best state, to be hum...

HUKUMAN MATI PADA 529 PENYOKONG LEGITIMASI MESIR  Siapa ingin yakin bahawa kemenangan Islam itu sudah semakin hampir bila mana kita sudah semakin tersepit? ****************************************** Surat dari Dr Muhammad Badie' dari dalam tahanan yang telah disebarkan melalui page rasmi beliau : "Tuhanmu telah berkehendak untuk mengumpulkan orang-orang yan g benar dalam satu kelompok, dan orang-orang yang batil dalam satu kelompok lain, sebagaimana tuhan telah mengumpulkan Musa a.s dan kebenaran bersama pengikut-pengikutnya, seperti Firaun dan kebatilan bersama-sama pengikutnya sehingga apabila tidak tinggal apa-apa pilihan atau cara dan jalan dihadapan para pengikut kebenaran melainkan hamparan laut yang luas dan para tentera dibelakang mereka, maka kemenangan dari Allah akan turun menyelamatkan kebenaran dan para pengikutnya sekaligus menghancurbinasakan kebatilan dan pengikut-pengikutnya. Yakinlah bahawa kemenangan itu telah hampir dan pengikut-pengikut kebati...

Hujung minggu yang lepas, aku berkesempatan hiking di sekitar Ingleton Waterfall trail, Yorkshire. It was amazing. And most importantly, I felt so blessed that He permitted me to visit the place and hear the calming sounds of flowing water between limestone and rocks. I nearly cancelled the trip caused the weather forecast said it was going to be rainy and I was a bit unhappy to have the trip in a bad weather. But to be a honest, that was only because I was worried that others might not be pleased with it and the trip would not be fun. Interestingly one of my friends was so excited so we decided to go.  The place was wonderful. I wanted to share an ayah during the trip but it did not happen for some reason. Yet I am pleased with what ALLAH had given me.  Aku cuba mengiringi setiap langkahku dengan istighfar dan ketundukan hati. Menundukkan hati saat menghayati kebesaran ciptaan Tuhan. Indah yang tiada manusia mampu ciptakan. Saat berada di puncak, itu kegemar...

The Pleiades, also known as the Seven Sisters, is a cluster of stars; ignoring the complicated astronomical explanation, these are simply a cluster of bright shining stars known to many cultures all around the world. In Arabic it is called thurayya. My second name and I am glad that my mom, including my dad, named me with it. A name with prayer that motivates and inspires me a lot. عين الثريا The eye of the Seven Stars. The shines of the bright shining star. Just now, another sister left the land. She dropped me a text before she left,  "Dr Suraya..(bla bla bla).., a shining bright star bla bla bla" I take that as a dua akak. Jazakillah khayran. You made me love my parents more and you made me appreciate myself more and you woke up the ruh in me to see and wish for the bright future ahead. I hope ALLAH will allow me to be one of the stars that can help people to find the way to the Haqqan Guiding Stars which is the Quran.  ALLAH's promise...

This one is going to be a very long post because there are so many that I wish to write. You are welcomed to read if you wish. Resitting Fourth Year By ALLAH's power and plan, I failed my end of fourth year exam last year. As a consequence of this, I have to resit the whole year again. I was shocking but I manage to accept it very well. This was what I thought and felt. Not sure how people perceived my reactions though. The whole resit was a struggle but all praises to ALLAH, I really have learnt a lot and I would say, with redoing everything I managed to learn more. Gain more knowledge. Although it was a pain to resit, I do regards resitting as ALLAH's mercy to allow me to learn more and thus become a better practitioner once I qualified. Alhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah. It was a blessing as much as it was trial. As I have said, I am thankful for being able to improve my knowledge and to an extent my skills. However, towards the end f the year, I became so scared and w...

awwalan..bismillah walhamdulillah,  thumma, alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah since the exam for this academic year has ended. yesterday. 1530. alhamdulillah that the wait and anxiety have ended. but honestly, over weeks of preparing for the exam, most of the time i felt numb rather than anxious. i don't know whether that was good or not, but i know that i had pushed myself and persevered with all the strength that He gave throughout the moments.. alhamdulillah wa tawakal 'ala al-Rahman for the exam just a little bit of sharing of my thoughts and feelings (as always) within these few days, i have been haunted by a feeling of fear fear of tomorrow, fear of what will happen tomorrow fear of what will come next year and not to deny, a fear for the exam as well (and the list go on...) yet there are hopes there are indeed, waiting to go back and meet my family and work with them to improve our imaan (insyaALLAH) work with my friends meet those i love and have left f...

: to myself and my lovely colleagues it has been a long two years one last lap all the best you guys there's always hope (i really need all the doa that i can get from you guys) ALLAH... hope

hari ni, sorang hosmet da balik msia pastu ad la y lain skali sunyi rupanya hahaha baru sy prasan saya dah biasa rumah penuh  hahaha macam mana ma ngan abah kat rumah ye? anak-anak dah tak de kat rumah