Yesterday, was tiring I would say. Weird that people actually rest on weekend, but I would feel tired as I reach Sunday. Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah. As this is really such a wonderful life experience that I am learning to appreciate and love then to mould it to be my principle of life. Which is to serve and rest just enough to keep on moving and fulfilling my purpose of life.
I went for a walk my little sisters yesterday at a castle in Harrogate. A month before, I promised these little sisters that I would bring them for a wonderful weekend getaway after they finished exam. I planned to bring them to Belfast but after I made the offer, I needed to change the plan to actually fit in our monthly sisters qiyam and my own face to face sisters circle ie usrah (Most of my halaqat were done online cause my usrahmates are everywhere so it is quite hard to actually fix a time where everyone can actually attend in person for face to face halaqah.) We have no other weekend, so yeah... …
My lovely sisters made a poem and sent it to us in one lovely Jumuah morning. One of us, replied to and made my day:
I'm a little teapot Nice and round One thing I'm very fond Pouring out tea Into cups I found
I'm a little teapot I live to serve Come guests To please I love
One small trouble With my little self Once I finish serving I go back to the shelf
You see it saddens me If I'm empty For how can it be For me to serve more When what I have in me There's nothing left to pour
I need a refill please A top up some may say To continue filling up The empty cup Or I shall give up Not because I refuse But what is the use Of, An empty teapot Give more I cannot
Please queue for your refill at the kiosks available.
The reply was:
o little teapot,
come closer as the tea is here,
waiting for you to come near,
o little teapot
if you are coming here,
please do open your lid,
coz even though you are near,
i can only fill you if you opened your lid,
o little teapot,
come near with a cleaned inside,
there had been a few things happened in my life these past few days or even past few weeks. i can't list them cause i don't remember all. but i know, i'm feeling sad as i am worried i might have done things wrongly or badly. i'm scared of sins i might do from my speech. i'm worried of sins in might do with my hands and feet. i'm extremely worried of sins i might do with my heart. things that are going around deep inside which i might miss. i am scared. and each time it happens, i feel vulnerable. i am even scared to talk to people.
something happened today, which became the climax of this drama, and i grabbed back the book i have read years ago. the book of taqwa. i read it, and my heart bleeds. my heart cries. emotional tornado. i felt so sad for the days that have left, i am sorry the wrongdoings. anyway, enough emotions.. this is what i made out of scanning through the little book back again.. *cry*
ok dalam urusan apa yang kita kena bertaqwa?
Over the course of the past six years, I have lost some people who are dear to me, be it physically or emotionally. Some became far (physically), some became far and distant emotionally (although they are just around physically), some became far both physically and emotionally. Hihihi. What a complicated world it is. ^_^ But to be honest, as I look back over the moments that had passed by, I can't deny that I miss those time when I felt safe and loved by those people who I learnt to love. I miss those time when I felt safe to actually express my thoughts, feelings and actions. I miss those moments when I felt respected to express my views yet honoured to be criticised. Being me, unfortunately, I'm too selective in choosing close friends hence I feel sad when I lose them. Cause for me, close friends are like treasure that can never be replaced. Those who are physically far, I still love you and each of you have own space in my heart and memory. Even though, I do not text or cont…
AYAT BERTANDA KUNING
Dulu bila terbaca ayat ni, suka sanga disebabkan oleh ayat bertanda kuning tu. Ia menggambarkan kesyukuran seorang hamba yang betul-betul rendah hati terhadap nikmat petunjuk dan izin Allah untuk dia kekal dalam iman dan amal soleh selama dia di dunia. Sangat rendah hati. Sebab tiada pun dia claim sebab masuk syurga tu adalah atas amal yang dia dah buat di dunia, instead dia kata Alhamdulillahilladzi hadaana li haaza- segala puji bagi Allah yang telah memberi kami petunjuk. Cantiknya akhlak hamba yang Allah izinkan masuk syurga. Orang kata kalau nak masuk syurga, kat dunia ni kena usaha dan cuba hidup dengan akhlak-akhlak macam tu la juga. Increase the chances of dapat redha Allah hence masuk syurga.
AYAT BERTANDA MERAH
Oh now, my actual point. Harini, bila baca balik ayat ni sekali lagi. Mata dan akal terhenti pada beberapa perkataan dalam ayat tu: Kami cabut segala dendam yang ada dalam dada mereka.
Dulu, saya suka je ayat ni. Simply because ia menggambarka…
Alhamdulillah one more thing for fifth year ticked today.
ESREP PresentationESREP ManuscriptESREP Reflection SJT
PSAFinals Placement 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Now left with PSA, placements and finals.
Can't wait to finish the year ^_^
After finished with that 2 hours and 20 minutes test today, we had a meeting with the medical school. They are proposing for us final years to get into the ward and become volunteers to help out with the increasing workloads at hospitals currently. I've signed up to it. Worried but excited too! Need to polish my knowledge and skills.
Hey self! It's 117 days to your finals! Do it properly.. With ihsan, patience and solat. Remember He will be there. Is always there. He is watching! He loves you of course, so do your best!
Khayr insha Allah. Even when the whole world leave you, He will never do!
You can have 100 people telling you that the sky is blue, but it may take the 101 to make you actually turn to it and appreciate it.
The one who inspired me to write this quote does not understand it so I tried to explain to her in simple words. So for those who do not understand this 30 words quote you can read the examples I gave below. Hohohoho : Cth 1: Kalau mak ckp kat anak dia.. Engkau ni nakal la hai.. Mesti bdk tu mcm, mak ak ni suka sgt membebel. Sikit2 xkena. Sikit2 xkena. 10 thn mak dia tegur dan bersabar. 10 thn tu jg la dia x faham. Tp bila dah besar, jumpa kawan yg dia start jd rapat. Dah kenal spend masa banyak2. Tertiba satu hari kawan dia ckp: engkau ni boleh tahan nakal jg kan? Tiba2 dia terhenti: dan tanya.. Laaa yeke? Kot mana nakal tu?. Masa tu baru dia nak belajar faham...
Cth 2: kalau kita ad masalah.. Kita mcm blurrr nak buat ap dlm hidup. Cth lepas spm. Xtahu nak blajar ap, pastu ad la kakak kita cthnya dtg ckp alaaa cuba fikir ap yg kau suka. Semua benda pun s…