Tuesday, February 23

Types of friendships

Types of friendships - choose the type we want to be, Allah will then send the ones you need.
1. Waliy - the protector = a friend who is there and protects you
* described together with hameem = waliyyun hameem (hameem - heat and warmth)
* Hameem - heat and warmth = somebody that makes you feel comfortable and warm in their presence
2. Sodiq - truthful = genuine friend; not being friends with an agenda; truthful = not deceivingly friendly
* also has been described together with hameem = sodiiqun hameem
3. Sohib - someone sitting next to you eg. somebody sitting next to you in your journey/train (casual acquaintance) ; but it can also be somebody who is always there with you. sohib carries the value of wanting something good for you, has genuine concern for your benefit, cares for you.
if you want to be the sohib for ummah, sohib for the society - makes the 'normal' celebrated not the luxurious (standards - deceiving fashion, materials)
4. Walijah - 'to enter quite deeply' =
5. Bitanah - somebody who can keep the secret
6. Khazul (-ve) - a friend who only acts as a friend until the time reveals the real value; extremely disappointing and deceptive, used in Quran to describe the quality of 'friendship' offered by syaitan. there with you only during good times but away when you are in need.
7. Khadan - a friend you are attracted to, has the possibility of being attracted to..
8. Qarin - qaran = rope used to tie two camels together, allowing them to move side by side => qarin is a friend you always hangout with (macam belangkas), has a lot in common with. you can't tie two camels that are too different from each other- height, speed..
you can have good qarin, or bad qarin = a true friend can still be sodiq but not qarin.
some of the people of jannah, were almost become the people of hellfire - but they give up certain kinds of company. their sincerety remained but they know 'always being together'/ the company of the certain person is not worth it (for hereafter) - some people has the maturity and strength to loosen the relationship/ attachment and this 'maturity and strength' might be the factor differentiating the people of jannah and people of hellfire.
* so watch out who your CONSTANT friends are, friends who you always talk to, spend time with..
*** The best two types of friends mentioned in the Quran:
9. KHALEEL - khullah = someone/friendship that penetrates deep into your heart.you have a deep seeded love for someone that you care so much and miss so much when you are not with them.
but closed friends in the world that have strong love towards each other, can be enemies in the akhirat (if the friendship not for the right reason):
“al akhillahu yawma izzin b’aduhum liba’adin adu’u illal muttakeen”
(those friends with strong love towards each other will become enemies to each other except for those who fear ALLAH)
once we choose the wrong khaleel- in the akhirat, even we have such deep seeded love towards them in the world, because we are so regretful of having them as friends in this world and regret it so much, we could not even remember their names - not even wanting to menton their names. as the situation described in the Quran : (QS 25 Al Furqon: 27-29)
وَيَوْمَ تَشَقَّقُ السَّمَاءُ بِالْغَمَامِ وَنُزِّلَ الْمَلَائِكَةُ تَنزِيلًا ﴿٢٥﴾ الْمُلْكُ يَوْمَئِذٍ الْحَقُّ لِلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ۚ وَكَانَ يَوْمًا عَلَى الْكَافِرِينَ عَسِيرًا ﴿٢٦﴾ وَيَوْمَ يَعَضُّ الظَّالِمُ عَلَىٰ يَدَيْهِ يَقُولُ يَا لَيْتَنِي اتَّخَذْتُ مَعَ الرَّسُولِ سَبِيلًا ﴿٢٧﴾ يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا ﴿٢٨﴾ لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي ۗ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنسَانِ خَذُولًا ﴿٢٩﴾
And [mention] the Day when the heaven will split open with [emerging] clouds, and the angels will be sent down in successive descent. (25) True sovereignty, that Day, is for the Most Merciful. And it will be upon the disbelievers a difficult Day. (26) And the Day the wrongdoer will bite on his hands [in regret] he will say, "Oh, I wish I had taken with the Messenger a way. (27) Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken THAT ONE (fulan) as a friend. (28) He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter." (29)
10. RAFEEQ - rifqah = comfort; mirfaqah - small cushion that helps you relax; rafeeq are friends whom when you go to them (casually) you find comfort. people that you don't have to act certain way in front of them.
And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger - those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions.
وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّـهَ وَالرَّ‌سُولَ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّـهُ عَلَيْهِم مِّنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ ۚ وَحَسُنَ أُولَـٰئِكَ رَ‌فِيقًا
Surat An-Nisa' (4:69)
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وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ لَنُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ فِي الصَّالِحِينَ ﴿٩﴾
And those who believe and do righteous deeds - We will surely admit them among the righteous [into Paradise]. (29:9)
We may lose people/friends but if we keep believing and steadfast in iman, He will surely put us among those who are righteous. Friends of the best company.
* Deeply loved friends can be enemies in akhirat EXCEPT for those who are muttaqeen.

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