Derapan Langkah

A broken heart is a broken heart Some people just don't know how to fix what they have broken  Worst, they smashed it even harder  Sobs :'(((

Terkadang tak faham tindakan setengah manusia :(

Yesterday, was tiring I would say. Weird that people actually rest on weekend, but I would feel tired as I reach Sunday. Alhamdulillah, thumma Alhamdulillah. As this is really such a wonderful life experience that I am learning to appreciate and love then to mould it to be my principle of life. Which is to serve and rest just enough to keep on moving and fulfilling my purpose of life. I went for a walk my little sisters yesterday at a castle in Harrogate. A month before, I promised these little sisters that I would bring them for a wonderful weekend getaway after they finished exam. I planned to bring them to Belfast but after I made the offer, I needed to change the plan to actually fit in our monthly sisters qiyam and my own face to face sisters circle ie usrah (Most of my halaqat were done online cause my usrahmates are everywhere so it is quite hard to actually fix a time where everyone can actually attend in person for face to face halaqah.) We have no other weekend, so yeah......

My lovely sisters made a poem and sent it to us in one lovely Jumuah morning. One of us, replied to and made my day: I'm a little teapot Nice and round One thing I'm very fond Pouring out tea Into cups I found I'm a little teapot I live to serve Come guests To please I love One small trouble With my little self Once I finish serving I go back to the shelf You see it saddens me If I'm empty For how can it be For me to serve more When what I have in me There's nothing left to pour I need a refill please A top up some may say To continue filling up The empty cup Or I shall give up Not because I refuse But what is the use Of, An empty teapot Give more I cannot Please queue for your refill at the kiosks available. The reply was:  o little teapot, come closer as the tea is here, waiting for you to come near, o little teapot  if you are coming here, please do open your lid, coz even though you are near, i can only ...

there had been a few things happened in my life these past few days or even past few weeks. i can't list them cause i don't remember all. but i know, i'm feeling sad as i am worried i might have done things wrongly or badly. i'm scared of sins i might do from my speech. i'm worried of sins in might do with my hands and feet. i'm extremely worried of sins i might do with my heart. things that are going around deep inside which i might miss. i am scared. and each time it happens, i feel vulnerable. i am even scared to talk to people.  something happened today, which became the climax of this drama, and i grabbed back the book i have read years ago. the book of taqwa. i read it, and my heart bleeds. my heart cries. emotional tornado. i felt so sad for the days that have left, i am sorry the wrongdoings. anyway, enough emotions.. this is what i made out of scanning through the little book back again.. *cry* ok dalam urusan apa yang kita kena bertaqwa...

Bru je lepas tulis post pasal rindu rinduan.. K himan balas mesej woooo. Hihihi ok banjiq sat. Sambung baca buku. 2 minit je pon balas mesej. Bleargh.. Emosi..

Over the course of the past six years, I have lost some people who are dear to me, be it physically or emotionally. Some became far (physically), some became far and distant emotionally (although they are just around physically), some became far both physically and emotionally. Hihihi. What a complicated world it is. ^_^ But to be honest, as I look back over the moments that had passed by, I can't deny that I miss those time when I felt safe and loved by those people who I learnt to love. I miss those time when I felt safe to actually express my thoughts, feelings and actions. I miss those moments when I felt respected to express my views yet honoured to be criticised.  Being me, unfortunately, I'm too selective in choosing close friends hence I feel sad when I lose them. Cause for me, close friends are like treasure that can never be replaced. Those who are physically far, I still love you and each of you have own space in my heart and memory. Even though, I do not text or con...